The Pressure to Have Sex and Be Attractive

Scripture: “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” I Peter 3:3-4 (NLT)

From a young age, what were you taught to “be?” In many cultures, girls are taught how to be pleasing to men. This can cause a girl to stop focusing on God and get consumed with trying to catch a man’s attention through looks, actions and even sex.

Constant Pressure

Were you taught that your goal in life is catch a man’s attention so you can get married one day? Although God has a wonderful plan for marriage, our duty is to “live in a way that pleases God” (I Thessalonians 4:1), not men or women. From every direction, we are pressured to look, act and live like the admired women of our culture: being obsessed with shoes, clothes, jewelry, or hairstyles; or making your face or body look a certain way; or having a boyfriend or husband.

Remember, “those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit” (Romans 8:5). Let God’s Holy Spirit transform you into the woman He wants you to be, rather than the woman the world says you should be.

Growing Obsessions

Obsessions about your appearance can hurt your relationship with God and cause you to seek earthly things. You might even use your looks or body to gain control over people who are attracted to you. For example, some people want or need money. As a result, they use their appearance to attract someone who has lots of money instead of trusting God to provide.

By trying to gain power over others using sexual attraction, you begin focusing on sex rather than the Lord. But Jesus instructed His followers, “seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” (Matthew 6:33). Rather than being tempted to depend on your own looks or body to get what you want or need from others, trust in the infinite power of God.

Being Holy

Your family, friends and even other Christians may not recognize this temptation. Some men often pretend to love an attractive woman to get them to have sex. But remember that “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin” (I Thessalonians 4:3). When you find yourself tempted to pursue earthly approval from men, or use sex and material things to attract men, remember the Bible’s instructions to “set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2).

What is Sexual Immorality?

Scripture: “Carefully determine what pleases the Lord.” Ephesians 5:10

God created sex to be a beautiful gift. In Genesis 2, God says it was not good for man to be alone so God created the perfect partner, a woman, so they could become one flesh. The chapter closes with the statement, “they were both naked and felt no shame.” Sex creates a unique relationship that involves physical, emotional and mental unity and completion. If sex is blessed by God, what makes it immoral?

Blessings Lost

When we forget God has authority to set limits, blessings are lost. “Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused.” (Romans 1:28). Your phone works best when you use it the way it was designed. In the same way, God designed sex to work a certain way. Rejecting His design leads to darkness, confusion, secrecy, shame, and judgement.

Blessed Design

God used His infinite wisdom to design sex in the beginning. God does not need to “evolve.” He does not change his mind based on our opinions. Scriptures from Genesis to Revelation give a very clear picture of the kind of sex that pleases God. “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24). God approves of sex when it is between one man and one woman who have made a lifelong commitment to marriage. Jesus confirmed this to be an unchanging truth in Matthew 19. Are you willing to trust God’s wisdom and love and follow his guidelines?

Blessing Restored

“He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son He loves. We have redemption, the forgiveness of sins, in Him.” (Colossians 1:13-14). We no longer have to sit in the darkness of shame and confusion. Jesus has made us children of light! (Ephesians 5:8-11) “You cannot say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies...If we belong to Christ our body is not our own but a temple of the Holy Spirit and therefore we should honor God with our body.” (1 Corinthians 6:13, 19-20). Obedience to God’s plan for sex is a choice we make when we want to please God, not ourselves (Colossians 3:1-17). God has given every Christian the Holy Spirit to teach us truth and empower us to obey it.

How To Avoid Sexual Temptation

Scripture: “Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light.” Matthew 6:22

These words of Jesus tell us how important our eyes are, and how diligent we must be to watch what goes into our mind through our eyes. God’s word shows us several ways to do this:

1. Be Careful What You Look At

Jesus said, “anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). The first step to sexual temptation (and sometimes the sin itself) is looking.

Today’s world can be full of temptations for the eyes. Advertisements, movies and television, and things on the Internet can all lead us to sin. You must carefully choose what you watch and where you go. If seeing women in bathing suits makes you think lustful thoughts, then you need to stay away from the beach. If Internet pornography threatens to trap you, then stop surfing the web when you’re alone. (Matthew 18:8-9)

2. Guard Your Heart

King Solomon instructs us, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs 4:23).

What is this verse telling us? That what we THINK about determines who we are, and what we do. Lustful thoughts lead to lustful actions. On the other hand, if you read, speak and think about God’s word often, he will renew your mind and your heart. (Also see Romans 12:2, Colossians 3:1-3)

3. Don’t Be Proud

“If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12). If you think you will never fall victim to a particular sin, that’s the time to be extra careful. Or, as Solomon again says, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18).

Remember above all that we don’t rely on our own strength, but on the Holy Spirit. God alone can give the power to make the right decisions and keep our lives free from sexual sin.

God’s Favor in Your Life

Scripture: “The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are attentive to their cry.” Psalm 34:15 (NIV)

You might be surprised to learn that those whom God favors sometimes experience pain and suffering. We might not understand it, but God shows His favor and His love in many different ways. Let’s see what His favor can look like in your life.

Favor Does Not Prevent Suffering

Jesus instructed His followers, “Don’t store up treasures here on earth” (Matthew 6:19), and the Bible instructs God’s people, “if your wealth increases, don’t make it the center of your life” (Psalm 62:10). Israel’s King David (a hero of the Old Testament) suffered physical hardship when he was persecuted by Saul. God also allowed physical pain to bother the Apostle Paul, who received divine revelation and wrote many books in the New Testament.

Just like Paul’s physical pain, God does not always fix every hardship in your life. Even if you pray, He may choose to use your weakness so His glory and strength can be seen by all of the people around you. (2 Corinthians 12:9, John 9:3).

Focus on Giving God Glory

The Old Testament shows us that God often used provision to help His people understand Him more: “the Lord your God has poured down for you abundant rain. The threshing floors shall be full of grain; the vats shall overflow with wine and oil” (Joel 2:23-24). The New Testament lets us know that “every good and perfect gift is from the Father” (James 1:17).

Since God works “for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28), He can choose to give you with resources or health for His purpose. However, you have to remember that these are always meant to bring Him glory. Our focus should not be on our comfort or gaining material things. If we are focused on God, we can use whatever He gives us, whether it’s health, material things or physical weakness, to give Him glory.

Seek God First

God will provide everything we need to accomplish His will. You may be surprised to learn that you may not need perfect health or lots of wealth to do His will. Jesus didn’t even have a place to lay his head (Luke 9:58), but He accomplished God’s perfect will. Be sure to “seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need” (Matthew 6:33). Remember, God’s favor does not mean all your expectations will be met. His favor will help you give Him glory in good and bad situations.

The Hall of Faith

Scripture: “These, though commended by God for their great faith, did not receive what was promised. That promise has awaited us, who receive the better thing that God has provided in these last days, so that with us, our forebears might finally see the promise completed.” Hebrews 11:39-40

Hebrews 11, the “Hall of Faith,” talks about the successes of early Christians. From Abel to the prophets, the author describes miracles, victories, and great accomplishments.

Faith Doesn’t Prevent Suffering

In verse 35, the mood changes: But others were tortured, refusing to turn from God in order to be set free. They placed their hope in a better life after the resurrection. Some were jeered at, and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in prisons. Some died by stoning, some were sawed in half, and others were killed with the sword. Some went about wearing skins of sheep and goats, destitute and oppressed and mistreated. (Hebrews 11:35-38).

Tortured. Imprisoned. Murdered. Did these people fail because they had less faith? Did unbelief lead to these unhappy endings? Not at all!

Faith Gives Strength

The believers in the Hall of Faith “placed their hope in a better life after the resurrection” (vs. 35). Even before Christ’s coming, these saints realized their earthly lives were short. Their suffering would be nothing compared to the glory of being with God forever. (Romans 8:18) They were “too good for this world” (vs. 38), and “commended by God for their great faith” (vs. 39). Yet, not a single one of these people is named! Those who suffered and died for the gospel are largely unknown, to this day.

Don’t Lose Heart

The last verse of Hebrews 11 tells us “That promise has awaited us, who receive the better thing that God has provided in these last days, so that with us, our forebears might finally see the promise completed” (Hebrews 11:40). Remarkably, WE are part of this great story. All of Christ’s followers throughout history, including us, will gather with these biblical saints and be with Christ. What a great victory celebration that will be – the ultimate happy ending, especially for those who suffered for His sake.

So whatever is happening to you today, do not lose heart, but look forward to the day of Christ’s return — when we will meet, rejoice with, and be glorified with the now-famous saints of old.