In the world today, we are taught to be driven. We grow up hearing phrases like "Go for the gold!", "You were meant for this.", "Don't let them keep you down." and "You deserve the best!" These phrases are intended to be motivating, but when you get to the core of these driving motivations they are all about self. We can allow this egotistical way of thinking to build up until it overtakes the way we think and those selfish inclinations influence our expectations. This brings me to consider my own actions when I attend church.
People have been known to leave their faith or their church because they feel they have not gotten enough attention in one way or another. This is sad for two reasons. First, because we as Christians should be showing love and serving other's needs. Secondly, because those who tend to leave sometimes have a skewed focus on life. They are not trying to serve others, but instead are looking to be saved and served. They let their ego get in the way and instead of being humble focus on what they feel should be done for them.
Too often we may feel we are not spoken to enough, that our children do not have enough friends, or that we are not generally included in things. When we begin to have such feelings we should stop and look at ourselves first. It is possible we are looking at others accusingly and not looking at how we ourselves are acting. Maybe we are not seeing the log in our own eye. (Matthew:7:3)
We must ask ourselves some hard questions
Are we approaching others and being friendly? We must be friendly to make friends. If we go to church just in time for services and then leave immediately afterward are we giving people a chance? Are we avoiding church functions; not staying for potlucks, outings or attending special functions? How can people get to know us if we're not around? It is difficult to make friends or to be invited to outings when we are always absent or seem to want to be separate from others.
Maybe we feel we have all the answers and get upset when someone disagrees with us. How can we grow or expect others to have deep discussions with us if we are not allowing others to speak? We cannot dominate if we want others to feel close to us. Who wants to spend time with someone who spends an entire conversation unwilling to listen or always motivated in only trying to prove their own point?
Are we being cliquish? It is sometimes our own separation from others that keeps us from feeling involved. If we choose select people who we always sit with, spend time with, or talk with the majority of the time, we are building our own walls. Again, to be included means we must become involved.
The best thing to do is to stop when you discover you are acting in such a way and think, "It is not about me". Jesus tells us to; "Love thy neighbor as thyself" (Mark:12:31). This is in the same line of thinking as in Luke:6:31, "And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise."
If we focus on acting this way instead, we will become totally different people with a completely different way of thinking. We automatically become friendlier toward others; we become more giving and more willing to serve others. When we consider how we would like to be treated and do that for others, we cannot go wrong.
None of us wants to be treated poorly or have others dominate us, so we should act in kind. We wouldn't want others to ignore us or not take the time to get to know us. No, we want others to be attentive, keep us in the loop, enjoy our company and include us in the things they are doing. If all that is true, than how can we think of doing the opposite?
We can be happier in any situation in our life if we just remember these four little words, "It's not about me."
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