3 Questions for Finding the "Perfect" Spouse

Scripture: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?.” 2 Corinthians 6:14

God made us to desire human companionship in the form of a husband or wife. A husband and wife are made to share each others’ lives intimately -- in ways that no-one else should. In a godly relationship, spouses can improve each other, look out for one another, and build each other up in the Lord.

You might think that God has a perfect spouse planned for you. However, as disappointing as it is, no-one can ever be a perfect spouse; “no one is righteous” (Romans 3:10) or perfect. Only Jesus“committed no sin” (1 Peter 2:22).

So what can you look for in a spouse?

1. Is He or She a Follower of Jesus?

The most important thing to desire in a spouse -- and in yourself -- is a close relationship with, and submission to, the Lord. Although no one can be perfect like Jesus, we should still try find someone who is Christlike -- and we should try to be Christlike ourselves.

2. What Is Your Goal for the Relationship?

What do you want in a marriage: Do you want him or her to make you “happy”? Do you want him or her to meet your needs? Do you just want to physically be with someone?

The role of a spouse is not to “complete” the other or to constantly fulfill the other’s desire to be “happy”. No human can complete another -- only God can fulfill our lives. The goal of a marriage -- indeed, the goal of your life -- should be “for the glory of God” ( Corinthians 10:31).

3. How Is God Leading You?

How do you pray for your future spouse? Do you pray for God’s leading in selecting him or her? God can guide you in everything -- and that includes the important question of marriage and to whom.

There is no one way to know if God has led someone to an ideal potential spouse. But when you are walking a Christ-following life and seeking counsel from fellow Christians, you can often tell if furthering your relationship into marriage will help you both continue to lead godly lives.